So, I missed last week’s gym-girl Wednesday installment because, well…I didn’t go.

I’m not proud o’ being a flakester so soon after having started, but what can I say? I got me an icky belly on the Monday and much preferred the comfort of my duvet to a sweaty workout. But good news people, I’m back on it – hurrah! Monday was HARD work, but I went this morning and, do you know what? I rocked out. I know this might all sound crazy trivial to people that go to the gym on a regular basis, but to a size 20 girl who has only recently discovered the joys of any form of exercise that don’t involve under-the-duvet activities, this a big deal ‘k?!

So, with that in mind, I’m going to talk motivation with you, g-friends, or more specifically how to kick your own ass.

I don’t need to tell you how hard it is to get out from under the duvet – especially if you have a hot-to-trot partner in bed with you – but 80% of success comes from just showing up, because once you’re there, you’re there, right? Okay, so how do we get ‘there’?

1. Next time you leave the gym, post-workout feeling pumped and crazy-proud of your sweet-self for that extra 10 minutes on the cross trainer, anchor that feeling. Place your thumb and middle finger together, press hard and link in those feel good feelings. Then, whenever you feel like skipping a session, simply press your thumb and middle finger together to activate the awesome – it’ll instantly take you back to how amazing you felt. Trust me, it really works.

2. See a visit to the gym as a hot sweaty date with your amazing self. For real. You wouldn’t stand up a hot boy or your BFF would you? So why would you do it to yourself? Working out, whether it’s at the gym or in your living room is the nicest thing you can do for yourself, you get your heart pumping, endorphins flowing and your mood will lift almost instantly – all the things you get from a hot date, non? Literally put it in your diary, draw hearts round it, get excited about it. If you set a time to meet someone, you’ll feel obligated to go, even when your mind and body are telling you otherwise.

3. Now, I think this might be personal preference, but I like to do it in the morning. I know it might seem like a whole lot of fuss and bother, but you’re going to have to get up for work anyway, right? So it makes a whole lot of sense to get your sweat-girl on before getting in the shower. If I put off a workout until later in the day, I am queen of the excuses, seriously, I’ve got them all. If I go in the morning, I’m done by 8.30 and and at my desk ready to work by 9.30 sufficiently smug.

4. If you can’t bring yourself to work-out early in the morning, instead of going home to watch your fave teev show on the couch, why don’t you watch it on the treadmill? If your gym doesn’t have TVs, you can load up shows to your iPod or iPhone y’know. See? no excuses.

5. Now this is by far my most favourite kick your own ass tip and it’s inspired by one of my most favourite kicka-ass ladies, Kelly Osbourne. Put on your workout ensemble and a slick o’ lip gloss. I’m not saying you need to look like the female cast members o’ TOWIE while you pound the treadmill, but applying a slick o’ gloss will make you feel positive and pretty when you see your reflection pre- workout. FYI: I’d advise against mascara though, especially if you plan on ACTUALLY working out.

Oh and if you REALLY struggle to get out o’ bed in the morning, do as I do, put your alarm as far away from the bed as possible so you have to get up to turn it off. I put my gym clothes right next to my alarm clock too, I pack my toiletries and towel the night before…Now, no excuses, just do it!

What are your li’l miss motivator tips – care to share?

I LOVE writing for Soul & Spirit magazine – I’ve shared the story of my firewalk, my experience with the Goddess, Gypsy Magic, now this issue, I’m sharing my Manifesting a Man secrets. Yep, buy this issue of S&S and you’ll be able to read how I literally conjured up my very own Viking o’ gorgeousness – have you seen the trailer for the movie Thor? Well, he’s that, but without the flowing blonde locks -YUMMO – how I passed on my process to gal-pal, Dianne and she magicked up a long-haired man of loveliness and most importantly, how you can too! Go buy the magazine now, then come back and sign up for the Manifest a Man eCourse – you can’t argue with the results, and with me as your wing-girl, you can’t fail!

My gorgeous gal-pals the Piperita Patties wrote this awesome song in homage to the leading lady in my teen series o’ books, Lola Love - now there’s a cute li’l video to go with it! I’m busting with the love stuff right now, and although I’m not hanging with Lola at the mo as I’m working on a new teen series, both she, and this song, will always be crazy-special to me! Enjoy your Saturday, gorgeous ones!

Now, while I’m not doing star-jumps of joy about the whole gym experience, I do really rather like it.

What I do not like however, is what wearing socks and trainers is doing to my feet. I love my feet and I am counting down the days ’til I can put them in sandals and show them to the world. Except, right now, they are suffering from gym-girl-ickness and let me tell you, it is NOT pretty.

It’s lucky I have a beau, because if I didn’t, this talk of sweaty feet would do nothing to sell me as great girlfriend material, but seriously, I never knew my feet were capable of producing so much sweat as they do during a work-out – it’s positively vile. How does that even happen? Especially when they don’t even move on the cross trainer? Anyway, enough of the icking-out, lets deal with it, because I don’t need a reason NOT to go to the gym…

My BIG worry about sweaty feet is that it can lead to Athlete’s foot. At first, I thought this was kinda cool – get me, I have the foot of an athlete! – turns out, not so much. Athlete’s foot is just a common name given to a fungus infection of the skin that predominately occurs in between toes but can occur anywhere on the foot. If left untreated, the condition can spread to other parts of the foot, hands and can even affect the face – gagsville, non?!

So, to prevent this…

★ Do not wear shoes that are made of synthetic materials, such as, tennis shoes and socks. These kinds o’ footwear are made of man-made fabric which actually contribute to the production of perspiration.

★ After a work-out, shower obv., and then make sure you wash your feet. I know all you want to do is wash your ‘do and get out o’ there, but this is a big deal. Then, when you’re drying yourself, towel-dry between your toes as this prevents athlete’s foot and other fungi from developing – ick.

★ Prod Love: I have started using CCS foot care cream (RRP £6.12) as part of my after-gym routine. You will be hearing a LOT about this prod range from me in the coming weeks mainly because I freakin’ LOVE it. The packaging may look pretty plain, but don’t judge a book by it’s cover, it alleviates dry and rough skin to help get soft, supple feet in just seven days. I know it may seem like an extra faff, but I promise you’ll thank me for it when your feet are sandal-ready for summer – you can get it from Boots and Superdrug. There’s an amazing CCS heel balm too, but I’ll tell you about that later!

★ Now that it’s getting a li’l bit warmer stick a pair of flip flops in your gym bag so that after your work out, you don’t put your clean dry feet back into the same sweat-filled trainers.

Next week: The no gym equipment work-out for the reluctant gym-bunny.

So, I’ve joined a gym.

Now, this might not seem like a big deal, but it was the most scariest thing I’ve ever done. Seriously.

I’m a dress size 20 and exercise and I are NOT friends.

I need you to know that I’m totally cool with being a size 20, however, since discovering my endometriosis, getting healthy is my number one priority for the future, and seeing as I LOVE to eat, I’ve joined the gym. I know, no one is more surprised than me, that’s for sure.

Each Wednesday, I’m going to be posting about my gym experience – don’t worry it’s not going to be a boring snoring ‘do these exercises’ kinda feature, no, I’ll be covering all the bits about going to they gym that people don’t talk about: excessive sweating and how to deal, what mascara to wear without smudging, is a spin class really for you, what clothes to work out in if you’re over a size 12 and have wobbly bits, getting changed in communal areas, and how to avoid making eye-contact with the mirror-muscle boys… and that g-friends, is just for starters.

So, lets start with the whole ‘getting started’ deal: The beau is a gym bunny, so when he offered me a 2 week free pass to try it out, I thought ‘do you know what? I will!’ You know how it is, it doesn’t matter how many time you’ve failed in the past, you continue to have those flashes of hope that this time will be different. Maybe it won’t be a struggle, maybe I’ll actually like it.
FYI: I did NOT like it.
Not the first two times I went anyway. In fact both times, I came out and bawled my eyes out. I could only do 5 minutes on the cross trainer and 6 on the walking machine. I was a big sweaty mess and it felt like, compared to everyone else in there, I had a gazillion stone to lose.
But let’s re-wind. I’d never been to a gym before. They were intimating. Full of already-fit people in skin-tight lycra barely breaking into a sweat. Pah. FYI: This is true, but I’ll tell you about them later…
I also had every excuse under the sun NOT to go.
“I don’t want to get sweaty…”
“I’ll have to wear baggy clothes…”
“I don’t want to get changed in front of other people…”
“I don’t want people to judge me…”
And if I’d have known what I was getting myself into, I probably wouldn’t have gone at all, but I’m giving you the heads up on this because you need to be prepped, because walking through the front doors was the hardest thing. It’s like ‘fessing up. There’s no more excuses. Luckily, despite being a crazy fit gorgeous gym-bunny, the receptionist was really bubbly and friendly too – I had to practice all kinds of restraint not to dislike her wholeheartedly, and if she was thinking ‘woah, what’s the fat girl doing here?’ she did a REALLY good job of hiding it. She showed me around the gym, which, I’m not going to lie, was a bit daunting but not nearly as daunting as it could have been – I go to an out-of-town gym so it’s probably not quite as swanky as some, she showed me the changing rooms, which were communal and made me have a mini-freak out and the pool, which would involve me wearing a swimsuit – not cool.

My fat-girl programming kicked in BIG time. It filled my head with a gazillion escape routes, excuses to get out of it and reasons not to do it, but I checked myself…It took me nearly an hour to re-frame each thought, especially when every single fibre of my being wanted to leave, but I did it. I re-framed my thoughts and I walked right into that gym space and got on a cross trainer. I walked out again approximately fifteen minutes later in tears, but that doesn’t really matter, because, I’d given it a go.

Now, how I ended up going a second time is beyond me, it was as if I’d wiped the nightmare of my first gym experience from my mind entirely when I went and did the whole thing again 2 days later. This time though, I had a mini plan o’ action:

- I wore my gym clothes to the gym – it saved me faffing on arrival. (more on gym clothes next time…)
- I didn’t wear my contact lenses – I’m short sighted, so without them, I couldn’t focus on how skinny/toned everyone else was – it really worked!
- I made a kick-ass playlist – there’s only so many times you can listen to freakin’ Alexandra Burke on the gym music channel – I’ll share some of my playlists with you over the next few weeks – they mostly involve Vampire Weekend, because I love them. A LOT.
- I tried a few different pieces of equipment so I didn’t feel so bad for only being able to do a few minutes on each.
- After my shower, I got changed in the toilet. I know it might be frowned upon, but seriously, there’s never a queue when I come out and while I’m not crazy shy ’bout my body, I’m not comfy getting my white bits out in public, that’s all.

I still cried when I left though, it could of been the emotional release you get when you exercise, it might of been the fact that I was continuing to challenging my fat-girl programming, it could of been because it was bloody hard work and well…I wasn’t used to it. It might have been all three or none of these things, but all I knew for certain was, I wasn’t giving up, no way. This gym lark wasn’t going to beat me.

I’ve been going for four weeks now – I can do 15 minutes on the cross trainer without stopping, I’ve discovered I’m a bit kick-ass at boxing – must be my council-estate upbringing, my workout is now 55 minutes long instead of 15 and sshh, don’t tell anyone, but I actually enjoy it. Well, a li’l bit, at least. Not the idea of going – gosh no, that sucks, but once I’m there, plugged in and getting my sweat on, I don’t altogether mind it, I’m also changing shape too. I don’t weigh myself as I’m not really into that, but I’m definitely seeing a shape-change in my hips and tummy, I’m also toning up the bingo wings too – who’d have funked it, eh?

I’ve tried and tested lots of techniques, equipment, meditations etc. in the last four weeks to keep me going too – I’ll be sharing those with you, I’m going to have a session with a personal trainer which I’ll tell you all about – if he shouts at me, I WILL walk out and I’ll let you know how it’s changing me as a person, not just in my body shape, but in my health and well being too…

Love and dumbells x

It’s March, it’s a new moon tonight, so I thought, why not go crazy and offer a 5 card tarot reading o’ Sass for the really rather lovely price of £10 – you in?

Have a question you need to ask? Need clarity on a certain situation? Want to know what’s going to happen in the month ahead? email me at: lisa.sassyminx@gmail.com, book a reading and we’ll consult the cards…

I’ve written a chapter in my book, Sassy Sorcery, about what it means to be SASSY – and today, while editing, I’ve been thinking about it some more.

Y’see, I struggle with the term ‘feminist’, I always have. I don’t know if it’s the connotations that come with it – bra-burning (I would NEVER burn a bra those bad boys are expensive) man-hating (I HEART men. A LOT.) and the un-feminine thing (I love heels, own 2 hot pink feather boas and don’t even own a pair o’ jeans) I want to be a woman in my power, feisty, totally comfy in my own skin, authentic, fearless, oh and able to wear MAC make-up fabulously.

In the spiritual world, I’m often accused of being a bit ‘fluffy’. And I am. I am totally unapologetic for that. I love boy bands, I meditate in a tiara, I love pretty, pretty things like leopard print shoes, I like to paint my nails and I totally hear the colour pink. I’m also kick-ass, a business woman, a deeply spiritual thinker and…well, I’m complex. I love to learn about stars and the solar system AND watch The Kardashians, I fight tirelessly for the rights of teen girls to have all the information they need to make informed decisions about their lives AND I interview popstars and celebrities. I care passionately about the self-development of women AND I heart kissing boys. I am a mass of fabulous contradictions – isn’t it fabulous?!

Y’see, I’m SASSY and when you’re a SASSY kind o’ girl, you:
★ Take responsibility for your own happiness – let’s not blame boykind for absolutely everything.
★ Don’t diss on girlkind – we need to love, support and nurture each other NOT feel like we need to compete and draw rings around each others wobbly bits in trash mags.
★ Go where there are no paths and make our own killer-heel-shaped footprints.
★ Are feisty AND emo in equal messages
★ Are not scared to talk about sex, genitalia, your dark side or your passions.
★ Most importantly…You embrace all the things that make you completely YOU-nique – all your geeky, freaky habits, your penchant for watching NCIS (admit it, LL COOL J’s dimples are hot, non?), our career, our relationships, our creativity, the spiritual practices we dig – being SASSY is about being YOU. Without apologies, without fear o’ ridicule – how freakin’ awesome is that? As I was editing that, I wanted to literally high five myself. It’s taken 32 years to actually get it. To not want to fit in with the popular girls, to not want to dress like fashion magazines dictate I should, to fly my freak flag high and embrace ALL the qualities that make me the most fabulous version o’ Lisa, I can possibly be.

I am Lisa. I LOVE being Lisa and quite frankly, I am really rather awesome at it.

So, what do you think? Are you in, chicas?

After seeing Imelda May on Friday, I’ve been longing to perfect me some pin-up girl stylin’, and well, these girls are ALL OVER IT. I’ve just gone and bought me the DVD…

Yep, the weekend saw the full-moon flash past – did you see it on Friday? It was big, bright and bee-you-tiful and full o’ yummo magickal ju-ju…

Now, as I mentioned last month, with each full-moon, I’m creating a vision board/mood board/board o’ awesomeness, whatever title you give it, it’s a board o’ focus and intent and I love it.

Last moon, I did a board for the year ahead, but this moon, well… this moon, I’ve got specific about what I need for complete Feel Good Fabulousness… I cannot stress how thoroughly fabulous the actual act of making these boards can be – it helps me to focus, get clear and fills me with allsorts o’ juicy inspir-o for the period ahead…

What would be on your board this month?

Miss Aimz has been whisked away to New York as it’s her b-day – I am NOT envy-green, I repeat, I am NOT envy green – so it’s left to li’l ol’ me to celebrate the love stuff with y’all – hurrah!

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I LOVE love. And while I dig all things V-day – I’ll be spending a considerable amount o’ today letting the beau smooch off my very expensive Tom Ford lipstick – the most important thing that we ALL need to do today, whether you’re single/married/in-smooch, is to make sure you declare your complete and utter admiration and filled-to-the-brim heart-shaped love for the most important person in the whole wide world…YOU.

It’s all very well to declare stuff for others, but before you’re able to do that with any kind o’ sincerity or sense o’ realness you need to love you. The things you think are flaws? Embrace them, I dare you. That voice in your head who talks trash ’bout you? Tell it to hush it’s mouth and pay yourself delicious candy-covered compliments instead – ‘why (insert your name here), you look simply ravishing today!’

Make February 14th the day you make a declaration o’ self-love:

♥ Greet your reflection with a declaration of love for the next seven days – how would you like a lover to greet you? Greet yourself in that way, with sincerity, love and respect because you absolutely deserve it.

♥ Literally self-love – self-pleasuring is a perfect-O way (see what I did there?!) to make sure you hit the spot and experience an amazing orgasm that will give you a bad-girl blush and a twinkle in your eye for the entire day. C’mon, you absolutely deserve it.

♥ Book a massage, buy yourself perfume, take yourself to a movie, have a bubble bath, read a book from beginning to end, take yourself on a solo-girl date – don’t rely on a partner to treat you, YOU need to make sure that YOU are treated as you deserve to be treated…go on, spoil yourself…you absolutely deserve it.

♥ Most importantly, and probably the hardest o’ them all, make a commitment to love yourself every single day for the rest of your life. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, only YOU can do something about that – support YOU, be YOUR own best cheerleader, pay YOU compliments, respect YOU and treat YOU like a princess – why? Yep, you’ve guessed it because you absolutely deserve it!

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